Internal Struggles, External Struggles, Johnny Harris, and Intergalactic Tournaments.THE MODERN HIDALGO: Entry_030.
Written: Saturday. August 17, 2019.
The last entry that I wrote for this Daily Journal of mine was back in August 9. Which was a week ago. And there are two reasons behind that. But first, I have to clear it out that even with that last entry, I was already missing out on a lot of days. I had already missed some days in the supposedly “Daily” Journal Series. And given the fact that I’m already running on a 6-day work ethic, it’s safe to say that I have failed to do the daily journal…
The first reason was because there was no way for me to write a journal entry whilst having to do a wedding shoot, a swimming party, and then visiting the hospital since my dad was still confined.
The second reason, if the first reason wasn’t enough of a valid one to the readers out there, is that I’ve had a very serious internal argument with myself, on whether or not I should even continue to write a thousand words a day, and then call that a journal entry.
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The reason behind why I was arguing with myself on whether or not I should even continue to write on the daily journal, or just The Journal, was because I was starting to not see the point on doing it, on actually writing for the sake of writing something, and call it being productive.
I felt like I’ve been lying to myself this whole time. Sure, it may have been valid to call it a productive habit, but when you’re not learning from it, or developing new techniques or skills by doing something, then where do you think the point is on doing that specific thing that you think is a productive thing?
I kept on saying that to myself the past few days. ’Cause I could’ve written a journal entry back in August 12 or 13, Tuesday or Wednesday. But I decided not to because I just didn’t feel like it was worth doing at all.
Until something changed my mind about that whole thinking process.Two days ago, I had this heated conversation with my friend David. Well, I guess the only reason why I described it that way, and how I got into that state of character, was because when the conversation had started, I was busy watching a video on YouTube, and wasn’t really up to being disturbed at all by any person. So when David had started the chat, and was asking me all of these questions, I got annoyed and tried to get him off my case.
But it was also the topic at hand that I had an issue with. I really don’t like it when people grill me on topics that concern academics. Even though I like talking about smart things, I don’t like it when I’m faced with having to talk about how my school life is going. Like, man, just NO, okay? We can talk about anything else. Anything at all. Just don’t ever go to academics.
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no proof of whether this is a real quote from him, but the quote is still a valid example.
I can talk about productivity, dabble a bit about how politics is in the country, talk about space and the vastness of it all. I can talk about setting up a startup company that would provide tools or a creative space to aspiring and established creators. But please, for the love of God, don’t talk to me about the Mandatory Academic Thesis.
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Going back to the topic at hand, the conversation I had with David at least ended in a good way. We talked about Vox and this guy named Johnny Harris, who’s a journalist in the Vox Channel. David introduced me to Johnny’s own Channel, which I didn’t know existed, and was surprised that he was that type of dude who ran his own channel.
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I’ve started to watch the earlier videos on his channel. Good thing that he doesn’t have that much. But he does have videos that are 10 minutes long, or longer. And sometimes, that’s a bit too much to handle. But that depends on how the pacing of the video is. If I find it interesting enough, though, I don’t even worry about the clock, I just eat it all up.
So, the next day, David had chatted me up again, saying that he had tried to write something, but wasn’t able to finish anything, or even come up with anything. And he was asking for advice on how I was able to write so “religiously”. His words, not mine.
That’s the first time I’ve heard someone call my habit of writing that way, btw.
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what a first draft usually looks like.
And I was giving him all of these advice on how one should look internally in order to find something to write about, or how it’s better to give in to yourself whenever you write, and not worry about whether it’s good or bad. Cause if you’re writing for the first time in a long while, you’re writing a first draft.
And we all know that in the first draft, the most important thing to do is to get it done.Worry about the flaws later.
So I had told all of those to him, but personally, I didn’t know if it was actually true. Because I hadn’t been writing anything in the fictional sense since September or October last year. And that’s a long time to not have written anything.
Sure, I’ve been writing on this daily journal of mine, which is now just a Journal, I have to remind myself that. But other than this, I’ve done nothing. I’ve transcribed my old stories from high-school notebooks to digital format, but we all know that’s nothing as well.
So I had nothing of actual proof that could validate my own advice. And it left me feeling annoyed with myself.
So, when I had finished watching a James Bond movie, since I’m currently watching all of the 007 films, starting with Sean Connery’s Bond, I decided to open up the Evernote app on my Laptop—which is also where I’m situated right now, as I’m writing these words you are reading—and started to try writing a short story.
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examples of the Intergalactic Battle Arena shit I’m about to talk about.
And I was able to do it. I was able to write something and not throw it into the digital trash.
And you could read it right here.
It’s not perfect, I can admit that much. It’s very raw. It’s got a lot of hiccups. And I could actually see a similar story structure to how I wrote Liyabe, the other short story I’ve written the past year.
It’s got a lot of problems. But one thing is for sure: It’s there. It exists now. It’s a first draft, a first step, into something that could potentially become more than what it is right now.
And that’s what is most important.And maybe that’s also why I decided to continue on with this journal entry of mine. Because while I was writing the short story last night, it sort of felt like I was just writing a daily journal, but with a more narrative spunk to it, and with aliens and outer space.
So, maybe, in a way, this journal entry is helping me sharpen my skills in writing.
Maybe.
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