just Star City burning down.THE MODERN HIDALGO: Entry_049.
Written: Wednesday. October 2, 2019.
So it’s actually quite a bit early for me to be writing this journal entry. But I’ve got this surge of energy and willpower on my side right now. I just finished exercising. It’s currently 9:46 AM. Very early start here, but let’s dive right in to it.
I have this bottle of ideas inside my room. Literally a bottle filled with a bunch of pieces of rolled-up paper, with one word written inside it to indicate the base idea. It’s not really filled up with these ideas yet. It’s about half of the bottle it’s placed in. I had to remove each piece of paper, and type it down on Evernote so that I could keep track of what idea I’ve already put inside the bottle. That way, I don’t unknowingly put one idea twice.
These aren’t easy ideas. These are ideas that I’m placing inside of a bottle for a reason. And that reason is for me not to think about those ideas for now, because thinking about it now would cause me to corrupt and glitch out, ultimately set me on a path of not finishing college. I’d like to take that path, but as I’ve discussed in my previous entries, I don’t have the privilege of doing so.
These ideas aren’t just out-of-the-blue ideas. These are ideas that require money. They require a lot of other people’s help. They require resources, connections, all that bullshit. These ideas require a whole lot of these infrastructures in order to be made possible. That’s why I’m keeping it in a bottle for now. Because “I’m limited by the technology of my time” as Howard Stark says in the middle of Iron-Man 2, while Tony was browsing through his father’s mementos.
I’m limited by, not only the technology that I have at my disposal, but the resources and the people I know who could help me make these ideas possible. Though that’s not to say that I’m not gonna ever be able to perform these ideas and make them happen. They will happen, just in the very far, hopefully very near, future.
I hope I get to share these ideas with you guys someday.
* * *
It’s raining right now. I’m listening to lofi hiphop radio. I was previously listening to Prod. Riddiman, but I got annoyed by the bombardment of ads every time a song finishes. And lofi hiphop radio doesn’t give you any of that shit. It gives you 100% good shit to listen to.
I might go on ahead and continue reading Our Darkest Hours after doing this Journal Entry. I’ve put it down for quite a while now. I tried reading the short story “No one else but us” from it, but didn’t really like it cause it has these Muslim themes that I find hard to relate to. Not that I personally hate Muslim themes, I just find it hard to connect with them, since I’m a Catholic, and don’t know anything about the Muslim tropes. So reading about it is an acquired taste, I guess.
Speaking of which, I really have a lot of other books that I still need to read. I have like 13 books listed down on the whiteboard I’m looking at right now, on my desk. It serves as a reminder that I have to get these things done, no matter what the cost. So that I could read more afterwards.
* * *
I’m glad I actually finished writing a journal entry yesterday. I haven’t done that in a while. I guess I’m finally getting my shit back together.
* * *
Yeah, I really need to read a lot again. I have no clue what to write anymore. I’m sort of out of things to talk about. I guess maybe I should pause this for a while, and actually go through the day (which hasn’t even really started yet around the house).
* * *
Not much happened today, honestly. Just the same as yesterday. Although, I did feel fatigued a little bit earlier than yesterday. I slept for more than 2 hours, I think. I’ve been out of the daily routine for quite a while, it’s only natural that I get to experience this sort of whiplash effect. I think it’s even affecting this journal entry.
I remember the first days of me trying to make this journal entry work. I didn’t know what to do, or how to write a thousand words a day. So when it came to like 5 or 6 days in, I was having a hard time figuring out what stuff to talk about. Hell, even now, I dunno what I’m supposed to talk about in this journal.
I can’t remember the exact idea as to why I wanted to do this journal entry in the first place anymore. I just know that it helps me to be able to put out a thousand words a day. I know that it helps me exercise this mental muscle that I have of being able to come up with these ideas. And I know that it helps me get through with making an idea.
I guess I have to re-read some of my past journal entries to see where I started. From what I could remember, I used to only talk about one particular topic, or one particular theme for each journal entry.
Now, it’s all mixed together. To me, I think that’s a step in the wrong direction. Because I’m not able to stay in one idea and dive deep into that one idea, and that multiple topics/ideas come off as cheating. In a way, it is cheating.
I don’t really have anything else to talk about. I watched an episode of the Twilight Zone awhile ago. I read a short story from Our Darkest Hours awhile ago. I searched a bunch of Surrealistic Artworks awhile ago. So I guess that one’s a productive thing that I’ve accomplished today.
Nothing more, really. This was a very boring day. It rained. I guess that’s what’s different about today. Other than that…nothing.
Well, there was the whole “Star City Burning Down” News that’s being talked about on Social Media.
We rarely went there anyway as kids.
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