Inner Machinations: Entry_012.

Written: Saturday. August 22, 2020.

I’ve been downloading a lot of DS games on my phone. I’ve been developing a craving for DS games, or just games in general. I want to play new games, but I’m stuck playing Pokemon Leaf Green right now for the daily play-through uploads that I’m doing for the channel. But once I’m done doing that, I’ll be focusing on playing DS Games, Baby! I’ll play it all, dammit. I deserve to be exposed to games! I’m playing Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time on the side. Dope game. I wish there was a 3DS emulator that’s fully functional for the phone right now, so that I could play Pokemon X & Y, Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire, Sun & Moon, and Ultra Sun & Ultra Moon! I could only play GEN 4–5 on the DS Emulator, and I can’t even complete the Pokedex cause I can’t trade with the emulator.

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Written: Wednesday. August 26, 2020.

Yesterday, I wasn’t able to watch a new movie from the Godzilla franchise, because I forgot to download another movie. I haven’t really downloaded all of the movies from the series, because I feel that’s gonna overwhelm me in a way. But I guess that also leads to chances of forgetting to download enough movies to watch.

I only lasted 15 days in a row of watching these movies. Damn me. Though I still recorded a video of me reflecting on the movies that I’ve watched so far, but I didn’t really do a good job there, cause I can’t improvise. I don’t do well with improvisational…anything, really. I always rely on structure, on a script or a rule or a limitation. I never know what to do when I could do anything.

Yesterday was also a downer. The fact that I wasn’t able to watch anything new caused my brain to malfunction and go back to thinking of reality. And reality is shit, right now, because of Covid. These Bored AF Vlogs was sort of me going into a phase of wanting to escape my own thoughts. If I just sit or lie on my bed all day, doing nothing but reading and/or watching shows, or just staring into space, I get to lose my grip on positive emotions and end up just being bored as hell and depressed.

This is why, right now, the best thing to do is to distract myself with anything I could watch.

Anyway, I just finished reading Detective Boys of Masangkay: Ang Closed-Door Mystery. It’s a very good book, and I now want to read book three, even though it doesn’t exist yet.

I’ve been playing Professor Layton and the Curious Village, lately. It’s a game on the Nintendo DS that’s all about puzzles. And these are not ordinary jigsaw puzzles or arcade puzzles. This game makes you pull out a pen and paper, in order to write down shit that could help you solve a fucking riddle or a situational problem of some sort. It even has mathematical problems. But the thing that makes this game what it is, is that when you think the puzzles ask for complicated answers, you’re wrong. Whenever I find out what the answer is to these puzzles or riddles, the answer is always simple as hell, and I could’ve wasted lesser time if I had looked at it in another way.

That’s what makes this game great to play.

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Written: Thursday. August 27, 2020.

My laptop has entered an even shittier state than before. I now need to restart the damn computer five to six times in the morning just so it could — I dunno, wake up?

Not much has happened in the recent days, really. This is why I haven’t been active in producing my thoughts on this journal. NOTHING IS NEW! Nothing ever happens anymore that’s interesting enough to put in this journal.

I wasn’t able to watch another goddamn movie yesterday because of the fucking slow download speed Godzilla vs Hedorah has. Nobody’s downloading it at the same time I am, so there’s that logic.

So instead, I recorded myself talking about my bookshelf, and also showing the many books that I have. The video lasted about 43 minutes long, only because it wasn’t edited. It’s just purely all of what I was able to record on my phone.

I’ve been downloading more DS games that I could think of. I’m not really playing all of them because there’s no time in the day that I could do more than 2 hours of a straight play-through. Plus, I have the Pokemon Leafgreen and Minecraft play-through sessions to worry about, still.

I’ve been able to play Professor Layton and the Curious Village, though. It’s sort of refreshing to play a game that allows my brain to actually think when playing it. Most games are just mindless. At least, that’s how I see it.

I still haven’t started reading Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (Penguin Edition). I might do that later.

I was able to get back into reading about Philippine Mythology last night. I might do that later, too.

I might extend this journal to a Saturday upload. Posting this on Thursday just doesn’t seem organic anymore, now that I’m don’t writing The Omnivault.

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Written: Tuesday. September 1, 2020.

I was sick the last few days, that is why I wasn’t able to post this journal entry on August 29, 2020 (Saturday). My body probably reached a limit to how fat I could get. Back on Saturday, I experienced a very odd episode. I was breathing wrong, had chest pains, all that shit. My mother took out the BP monitor, and each time, my heart rate was at a 100+. The normal heart rate should be lower than that. I think I’m high blood.

I have been eating lesser than usual. Right now, I feel okay. My breathing still isn’t that quite back to normal, yet. But I think tomorrow it’ll go back to the way it was. I also need to start exercising again. I need to lose weight. It’s about damn time, too. I look like a complete couch potato underneath my clothes. I need to get rid of this belly. I want to get rid of this belly. And tomorrow will be the start of the work out sessions.

I’ve been downloading games non-stop. Awhile ago, I downloaded a bunch of PSP games on the PC. And a few days ago, I’ve been downloading NDS games… I think I know why. It’s my new itch! I haven’t been buying books and visiting bookstores (cause of Covid), and this might be the effect of that. I’m downloading every single game I could download, saving it up for the time when I get to play them (which is probably in the far future). The same thing was happening when I was still buying books every month! It’s that energy that the task provides me with, that makes me want to do it more and more. It’s like a hoarder complex, or something.

I’ve been playing a lot of Minecraft lately. I was recording it back when I was still on the roll of putting out daily content for my channel. Now, I’m just playing it non-stop. It’s addicting as hell. Since I can’t do shit in the real world, the Minecraft world seems like a good place to be in. At least, I think that’s what’s happening to my subconscious.

Also haven’t been watching any new Kaiju movie since Saturday. I might do that tomorrow.

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Written: Wednesday. September 2, 2020.

So the work out session didn’t happen today. The only productive thing I was able to do today was read a chapter from Shadow Rising by Robert Jordan. Everything else that happened today was just a repeat of yesterday…I’m in a time loop.

I brought a book down with me in order to have a chance at reading it once my phone needed to charge (cause I’ve been depleting its battery too much because of playing too many hours of Minecraft lately. I’ve said this before).

I had more control over the hours of my gaming sessions when I was still doing the play-through recording sessions. Now, I’m just freely wasting my days.

I still haven’t watched a single new Kaiju movie. I won’t promise that it’ll happen tomorrow…

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Written: Thursday. September 3, 2020.

I’m gonna post this today, and neglect what I said a few entries back (within this one).

Yesterday night, I had the energy I needed to move my computer back to my study table. I now have a desktop situation happening in our room. This is a dream come true, in its most mediocre form.

I don’t even know what got into me, too. I just looked at my setup for a brief second, and there I was moving shit about, and then here I am, sitting on a rolling chair, facing my study table, facing the monitor I took from my mom’s desktop, and typing like a mad-lad with the keyboard I bought (with my dad’s money, since I don’t have any. It’s Covid season…).

The laptop is placed on top of the top-view mount mechanism I have going on around the study table. I could literally just fit the essential monitor, keyboard, mouse, and pen tablet on the desk itself. The compromise is that my laptop will have to endure a lot of heat from the sun rays entering our room during the afternoon hours.

Again, this is still sort of a Devil’s Bargain situation.

I just got finished writing a new short story. I sort of had nothing in mind for this week, so I cheated and looked for a writing prompt readily available on Reddit. I found one that was about a second-hand cartridge having a saved file from its previous owner, and the NPCs living in that saved file actually know they’re in a game, and are self-aware that something has happened to the previous owner. I’ve been playing a lot of games, lately. So that prompt spoke to me on a familiar level.

What else have I done? I exercised this morning. Now that I have so much space to move around in our bedroom, I could finally work out with ease.

I’ve only read one chapter of a book today (from Frankenstein). I’m still being lured into playing Minecraft all day…by Minecraft.

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