Why do Filipinos think in English, but are afraid to speak it?THE MODERN HIDALGO: Entry_036.
Written: Tuesday. August 27, 2019.
A question comes to mind right now: What am I to write about, today?
Ihaven’t really done anything significantly different from yesterday. I was supposed to allot a full day of just researching about stuff I needed to research about for my “graduation roadblock”. I don’t wanna use the “th” word. It’s cringe-worthy. I just despise seeing that word, or hearing it, or even thinking about it. But yeah, here I am, stuck with having to deal with it.
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Just like yesterday’s entry, I wasn’t able to do anything productive in terms of academics because I’ve been caught up spending time playing Minecraft. I even played it just awhile ago, before proceeding to attempt researching about Surrealism and Automatism. Why, you ask? Because that’s the route of execution I got myself into when proposing the topic for my “graduation roadblock”. Again, never gonna want to use the “th” word. Sorry, not sorry.
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I got lucky this time around. I was able to get the book that I wanted to base the project on. I wasn’t able to do that same sort of thing last year. I had wanted to use this particular brand in order to represent my project, but the brand declined on me, so that really bugged me out — it still bugs me out, to this day. I’m never gonna forget what Fully Booked did to me.
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We Filipinos have this common trait that we think profoundly in English, yet almost instinctively talk in Tagalog. Not because we can’t speak in English fluently, but because it’s frowned upon, most of the time. A lot of unreasonable Filipinos laugh at those of us that want to use the English language in conversations.
So it’s part of the toxicity of our culture, that we refrain from using the English language when speaking, yet use it in almost every other medium. Such as this, journal-writing. Or as I’ve said earlier, subconscious thinking. And also essay-writing in schools, writing stories, and of course, research-making.
So it’s really just illogical of us Filipinos not to use English when we speak, even in everyday-conversations.
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Going back, I’ve written a review of the said book by Joey Arguelles. You can find it here.
He even commented on it. I was just surprised that the review even came to him. I guess Medium works in mysterious ways.
It’s a good book. I think it might be my most favorite book. Not saying that it’s the best book in the world, no. But to me, personally, I’ve felt a strong connection with the stories inside the book. I remember reading it was the most satisfying thing for a writer. A Filipino aspiring writer, at that. I was able to write my own short story shortly after having finished reading Ordinary World.
You can find that here.
I got invested in the stories. Really dove deep into the allegories the author was trying to convey in his writing. I learned a lot from this book alone, and am still learning. It’s got a very neat style to it. The way the writer builds his small worlds makes it feel as if you’re reading something that could potentially be more than just a short story, but a full-on novel. It’s got that level of exposition that is just so right, that you could imagine it being a real place, or could happen in reality.
And I think that’s what the author was aiming for. Sure, he uses fantasy elements we would normally hear or read from the old passed-down folk tales we either hear from our grandpas and grandmas, or stumble upon it from the local libraries, or deep-web articles on the internet. But he uses those elements by mixing it with the reality we see everyday here in the country. Yet, after reading them, it still feels as if you’ve just read something that was, well, Ordinary.
~I think I might have gotten too carried away with praising the book there~
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The reason why I searched up Surrealism and Automatism is because that is what I’m planning to do for the project. Ordinary World has a very surrealistic take on how the world works. It’s somewhat almost defeatist, as well. Which is actually what I love about it. The idea of allowing your characters to lose in the end, or be doomed even though you’ve sprinkled a hint of hope throughout the short story, is quite captivating to me.
And I think in Surrealism, there’s this common theme of Defeat that we don’t see. Sure, it’s a method of expressing the unconscious mind through literature or art, or music, what-have-you. Yet, underneath all of that, is allowing yourself to give in to the natural forces at play inside your mind, in order to find what’s truly there.
It’s something quite interesting to tackle, especially when it comes to something such as the “graduation roadblock”, where everything is concrete & concise. Conclusions have to be made. Everything has to have meaning, which can be defined by realistic approaches to a simulated concept.
In dabbling with the themes of Surrealism for this project, would be to set myself apart from the status quo. Which is actually what I try to do most of the time, in anything I do.
I try to run towards the opposite direction as much as possible from what’s being asked, or what’s commonly accepted.
And that’s how history is made.I just wish I could have this much enthusiasm when it comes to actually researching about what I need to research.
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