Spinning the Wheel to see where it lands | The Modern Hidalgo

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and how it actually helps.
THE MODERN HIDALGO: Entry_092.
Written: Wednesday. April 15, 2020.

So it’s technically the end of the supposed lock down due to the Corona Virus Pandemic that’s happening. But since the government has issued to add 15 more days (god-willing it be the last additional time-period), I guess I’m stuck here for more than I expected.

I’m listening to Harry Potter (Calm Ambient Mix by Syneptic) right now. It’s not quite as calming, actually. Cause I get to remember what happens in the movies again, which is not really that much lighthearted. A lot of dark shit went down by the 3rd movie and above. So it’s hard to listen to this soundtrack and be like, “Ah, yes. I’m relaxed. No, I’m not thinking about Snape’s death, or Dumbledore’s, or Dobbie’s. Who’s cutting onions around here?”

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Today’s the third day in a row that I am tasked to write a journal entry. So expect nothing from this. You may be thinking, “But why am I following orders from a spin-the-wheel app that I could customize and put my daily agendas on to hopefully do stuff in a day at random? Why do I let myself get bossed around by a randomizer?” Well, funny you should think that way, cause I’ve delved into that train of thought myself as well.

The reason why it’s not inhumane and unethical is this: I don’t necessarily allow myself to do what the wheel tells me to do. Even if it seemed that way, I was the one who placed those customized options on the wheel. So wherever it lands, it’s still technically my choice. Boom!
Mind = Blown.
Problem = Solved.
Thank = You.
It’s actually kind of exciting to see where the wheel will land on. Everyday so far (it’s been like two days since I’ve started doing this. Today being the third), the wheel takes me on a very different pattern through my day.


Here’s how my day would usually happen if I were to direct it by myself:
  • One chapter from a book first.
  • Followed by Exercise while watching a TV Series (currently the Arrowverse).
  • One Twilight Zone episode afterwards.
  • One Cartoon episode (currently Ben 10 Ultimate Alien).
  • Another Cartoon episode (currently The Spectacular Spider-man; the dopest cartoon).


And then the things I should be doing, but end up not doing at all:
  • Read a passage from Mythology by Edith Hamilton (which has been on my table since 2017, and still haven’t finished reading).
  • Drawing Session.
  • Processing Old Medium Entries.
  • Duolingo (currently learning Spanish; Yo estudio espanol mucho.)
  • Watch a movie.
  • And WRITE A FUCKING JOURNAL ENTRY.

See! I’d be doing half of what I usually wanted to do if I directed my whole day. Cause I’d get bored or tired or lazy to do so. And there’s no real initiative or drive to do so (at least, currently, I don’t have much of a drive to do things). But when I’m using the wheel, it provides me with the urge or initiative that I need in order to do these things that I want to do.
I mean, you can’t argue with results, can you?
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Today’s topic would be about Ideas.

Ideas, like opportunities, don’t happen every time. It’s there, but we can’t see it all the time. We have to go through some things and experience stuff in order to see the ideas, the opportunities. Ideas are opportunities. We take those opportunities and ride with them to see where it would take us. Much like what an idea is. It takes us places we never thought of going.

I’m out of new ideas right now. Which is why I just described it; not really for you, but for me to know how I understand what ideas actually are…and why I don’t have any new ones today.

Take my new IG account, for example. I want to post something new everyday. I’m at day 4 right now, and I feel like I’m already running out of things to post about. It’s weird, cause I do a lot of stuff in different facets, but I always end up not knowing what to post or share or whatever. I think it’s because I have this condition of seeing myself in a very narrow perspective. I mostly just think about books. And I have another account dedicated to those thoughts. But if I were to ask myself “what is it about me that makes me me?” I don’t know how to answer that.

Here’s my attempt on doing so.
“I write a lot. I do a lot of reading. I’ve made a lot of videos that I’ve posted on the internet for people to see. I play a lot of video games cause I was exposed to that kind of stuff very early on in my childhood. The reading aspect sort of came in my teenage years. I read a bunch of Percy Jackson and a few other novels. But there were so few books that I could read back then. And I couldn’t buy any new books, cause I rarely went to the mall by myself. And my parents only bought me a new book on a rare occasion. It just so happens that I finally wised up and started buying myself the books that I wanted to read, but that came very later on in my college days. Writing’s been around the same time I started reading. I discovered that it was possible to make a living out of writing stories when I first watched Back to the Future; that scene where George McFly was writing “stories…science-fiction stories about, uh, visitors coming down to earth, from other planets.” was a very important moment in my life, and it opened my eyes to the world of stories.

Film-making came at the start of my second-chance in college. Being around a friend who’s a film-maker kind of rubs in on you. Plus, it’s also a facet of writing stories, but with the addition of the visual language. I like doing videos, but I don’t really put much thought into them as seriously as this friend of mine. I’m more into writing, and writing is a demanding enough of a profession as it is.”
That’s how I would answer the question of “what is it about me that makes me me?”. At least, during the times this was written.

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