Written: Friday. May 6, 2022.
It's funny how on the same day I wrote the bullshit I said about me having the willpower to hold my finance in place, I also end up buying a $35 Nintendo eShop digital fund on GameLine.
We watched Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness yesterday, and after that, I went to GamExtreme to see if they were selling any eShop Funds. They said the servers were down, and could only purchase from the online shops like Shopee or Lazada. So I turned to GameLine to see if they're selling Funds, and they were—only that it was the last one they had (the $35 one).
I admit that I should've checked Lazada first, because in GamExtreme's flagship store, the $35 card only costs 1,750 Pesos. To which, I bought mine on GameLine for 2,050 Pesos...
So that was a bummer. But man, I swear to God, once I bought it, all my worries were gone. It was as if I was carrying a massive weight on my shoulders, and that the only solution was to literally put it down...the money, I mean. Put down the money on the counter, so that I have lesser money to spend, and to also overthink about.
This was the exact same situation I had with the money I earned from my Voltes V videos, and I did the exact same thing back then in order to relieve me of the stress that I was barely enduring. I had to spend all of my money, in order not to have to think about it anymore.
I know that it's the dumbest and stupidest thing to do in these particular situations, but also, I'm no longer thinking all day about the money that I have in my wallet and how or where I'm gonna spend it. I have all of this mental space to think about other things, now.
Sure, I've used it to buy the DLC for Botw, but that doesn't really mean that I'll be playing the game again all day...I'll only be playing it until the battery dies down. And then as I charge the Switch Lite, I go do other things.
The only bad thing to do to myself after making that decision is regretting having made that decision in the first place. That's dangerous territory. Arguably just as dangerous and toxic as before I made the decision.
If I spend my time now wondering what I could've bought with the money I no longer have, then I'd be stuck in a constant mental loop.
Anyway, my mind is clear again. The decision I made literally gave me the sense, or at the very least the feeling, of clarity.
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In other news, my second channel is almost gonna be monetized. Just a few more hours of watch time to go through, and I'll be eligible to apply for the YouTube Partnership Program...again.
I hope that I can register the same Bank Account once that channel's garnered $100 worth of revenue.
So right now, I've been live streaming my playthroughs again. I've been playing the Gamecube Animal Crossing. Funnily enough, Animal Crossing: New Horizons was the game I could've bought yesterday. But since neither of the shops I went to had stock of it, I went for the digital fund.
I haven't been continuing playing Coromon lately. I've gotten to the point where I'm bored with playing the game. I even played Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds a few days ago. I didn't really live stream it or record my playthrough. I was just unproductively spending my time trying to play the game...and now I want to repeat it, so that I could live stream the game. But I guess I'll just do that after I've been verified.
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