Written: Friday. November 25, 2022.
Two days ago, a good old friend of mine, named Oliver, revealed to me that his depression is coming back to him. Oliver is one of my friends who I've known the longest. He's probably the oldest friend I know that I still get to talk to, now. A lot of my friends have come and gone through the years, mainly because I cut ties with them slowly but gradually and surely. But Oliver is a good friend. We may not have spoken to each other in quite a while in the years I was away from Parañaque, much like how I was with my other high-school friends, but he and I have this casual and healthy friendship that doesn't really lean towards codependency. It's more mature, it's more adult and reasonable. We don't quarrel with each other for not talking to one another, or when failing to find the time to do just that. We have separate lives. We're individuals who live miles apart, and have different circles of friends. In a lot of cases, we also have different interests—we used to have similar interests, back in high-school(sort of), but I guess through the years, we've developed new interests, likes and dislikes, that sort of thing.
Oliver doesn't watch Star Wars—or at least the newer ones; he knows of it, the franchise. But he just isn't quite updated on the times. And that's also the case for the MCU movies and TV Shows. Oliver hasn't caught up to them quite as much. I'm assuming because he's probably like me who doesn't really like watching things when everybody else is watching it, but in a more extreme level of execution. Mine's more of the sense that I won't get into watching a certain movie or series, until the hype for it has dialed down after a few months or so. To Oliver, I think he just naturally isn't inclined to watch things if he isn't interested in them.
He does like watching Anime, though. It's something we recently just talked about awhile ago while we were waiting for work to be over. To put context to that last sentence: Yes, I was able to recruit Oliver in the Job that I'm currently working in as well. We're workmates now. Who would've guessed it? For the longest time, I'd always thought that Oliver was the most likely of us to get a stable job as some sort of graphic artist or designer working for a big animation company or something like that. But in the last time I met with him face-to-face, which was Erries's Birthday this year, I had asked him if he has a job, and he had said that he hasn't really held a job title yet, and have only had freelance work and/or commission work, but nothing remotely stable. At the time, I thought lightly of it, because I assumed that he didn't really need work yet, since he and I were in the same boat (meaning, he and I still live with our parents and haven't really left the bird's nest yet). It's just that his parents both had jobs, and that he's still well taken care of by them.
I also do recall mentioning to him that I was about to get a job by October (and that did happen), and that if there were any chances of getting him in, I'd do it. Though Oliver wasn't the first person I had in mind back then. That belonged to Jaydee, a college friend of mine whose salary is 18k pesos per month (which in our industry's standard, is somewhat low). I had promised Jaydee that I would think of him first once we had an opening, but once that opening arrived, I decided not to approach Jaydee, because it was just gonna be the same salary as before.
Oliver, on the other hand, had little to no active independent finance happening in his adult life. So I opted to recruit him, and luckily enough, he took the offer, and now we're workmates. But I've already mentioned that awhile ago.
Oliver is depressed, and that's what I want to take focus on in this journal entry. All of what was mentioned earlier was just bedding.
Although he had mentioned it a bit casually ("pre, parang bumabalik yung depression ko ah haha"), I was immediately taken aback by it, and started a huddle with him. Luckily, he answered, and I asked him about it, and he said that it was nothing severe, but then again that's what most of the people who have these cases say about their condition. He mentioned that he's had history with mental issues before, but never episodes, never serious cases that has lead him to life or death. I don't know it in full detail, since he's opted to keep it personal. I also don't know how to handle these certain situations, since I've never had them. Or if I've had them, I guess I handled it quite well due to the fact that I had a core group, or that my tolerance for these things are higher since it's a constant element in my way of life, or that I've just learned to adapt and such. I also have more friends than Oliver, so that helps in these certain situations. I don't say that in any negative way. Oliver is an only child, and his parents are divorced, but he does have a step-father who cares for him. But given those certain conditions in life, who knows what kind of effect that gives to a person's identity; to their outlook in life.
All I know is this: Oliver has lesser people to rely on. I'm probably a large percent of the people he can look for help to. And it was a mistake for me to not chat him or huddle with him in the few days prior to him mentioning his depression coming back.
Although here's just some more context to bring in to the table: It's not really so much of his depression coming back, it's more of just the stress that is being given by his Mac's inability to do his tasks in the right kind of pace. His Mac was bought way back in 2016, and it's basically as slow as the laptop I used to work with, but my laptop would definitely be slower...
Right now, I've been checking up on him ever since. I mean, it's only been two days. I wouldn't really know if what I'm doing is helping. All I know is that I just have to talk to him every now and then. Talk to him about Anime, about things we used to do back in the day, that kind of stuff.
It's the little things we do that make a big difference.
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